Sunday, December 21, 2008

Times past and memories revived


Today, I walked outside to a pool of oil surrounding my car. After 3 hours of clean-up, I realized that I'm fucking stranded in the valley. I decided to open up my shoe boxes of memories and scan some photos. I also found some of my old writings and poetry wedged and tattered in the boxes. This one seemed fitting so I thought I'd start it with this. I think I wrote this when I just turned 19 or so.

Evil Aspirations

What is your motivation
To feel unwanted, illegitimate, unreal
And the new day comes
The night pushes in and your lust for blood
Abnormality never looked so good
Destined to be fucked because you're fucking yourself

Choosing the darkness because you think it's cool
The things you do, not felt but pictured
Contrived images, conjured, a construct
You're a falsity, a lie

I don't want to be the one to tell you you're wrong
Because it's a fact that I'm anything but perfect
I just want you to know that this path is obviously a wrong turn
You have no idea of where you'll be buried
After a year's time
We've come too far to give up
To turn away from the light
the darkness is so enticing
Because you never have to fight

Matters of the heart that are just becoming palpitations
Weaker, automated, and you are determined to turn from inspirations
The decisions you make and their purpose of distraction
And the construction of your possibilities added to the mix

Isn't it great to be numb
To turn your head from everything and subdue yourself with poison
You used to want a new perspective and so there was a new beginning
To the end that came without your recognition
Turn back because it's never too late, but we all know that what has passed is gone




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